There are two worlds the one before having children, and the one afterward. Most young people, however, do not know what it is like to have a child, I was not truly prepared for the world I entered after childbirth. The moment I realized that life as I imagined it as a working mom meant concretely almost never see my baby put me down. So, after having been “bottle-fed” as a girl from the 19’s to the recommendation “think of you, a baby will be for later, you have the right to do like men and you” flourish first in your job “, until the maxim of recent years” do not worry, today women can no problem pursue their career and have children “. After having believed in all this and having made the choice to devote the first 5 years of my life to a career that had fascinated and fulfilled me, I discovered that I had made myself beautiful. The reality was different: I had to make a choice between my job and my baby! Working mom or the stay-at-home mom.
When I became pregnant I did not find myself so, I also asked myself what was the meaning of having a child on the eve of my 30th birthday if it was not to take care of it. But why offer me the only solution of stay-at-home as a mom? According to “The Work or Stay-at-Home Debate.” Parenting, 21 Apr. 2016, www.parenting.com/article/the-workstay-at-home-debate. Describe how can a woman open her mouth when she deserves to be lumped in with the slacker daddies, whose primary contribution is bringing home the money? I wanted to continue working since always that was how I realized! Only now, I will have new constraints, new needs, and new desires. In short, I would have new priorities and I wanted to be able to balance my professional life with my personal life.
And that seemed to me more and more like a beautiful utopia. Once the shock passed, I felt the sadness, then the fear and finally the anger go up, suddenly accompanied by a feeling of revolt, which was triggered following a small sentence: “listen, Blanche, ok, it is hard, but then what? It’s for everyone like that. What are you going to do? “It was the drop of water that broke the camel’s back. I had been taught never to do things just because everyone was doing them.
“If everyone jumps from a bridge, do you also jump?” That phrase from my dad heard all my childhood still resonated in my ears. After several weeks of tears, according to Edgar Allan Poe who said “Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears.” So it was now time to take action. On the other hand, lost as I was, the low morale and confidence and esteem of me below zero, I did not even know where to start. An idea came to me: every time I met women seeming to reconcile career and children, I dreamed to ask them how they did, well I was going to ask them Was I the only one to find myself suddenly at a crossroads, totally lost of bearings and needing to find a meaning to all this. I began a real investigation I was far from being the only one to experience this gap between career and personal life, as proof, the thousands of women present at each new show or forum on career retraining and career development. In addition, listening to the needs and desires of these women germinated in me and also I found that what helped the most women about to change jobs or put up their box was to be able to project and find in the lived and concrete stories of other women.
The sharing of experiences and the direct transmission brought indeed a precious ingredient, that of the reality. Because while it was essential to read and hear the institutional and technical data of what reconversion required, nothing was clearer, more specific, and more concrete than the “practical account”. Yes, it was possible to do a such and such thing, such choice of legal status or training but afterward, how did that translate, not in theory, but in real life.Fortunately, today I am slowly beginning to see myself in a new way. I truly am a different person than I was a year ago. I have slowly come to believe that I am a good mother.
I am not perfect, but no mother is by developing routines with my baby, I have learned how to manage my day more effectively, even fitting in more time to focus on my job.