Research win/win, seek first to understand, then to be

Part 1



author Dr. Covey was giving his perspective of how to be effective when dealing
with people. His main beliefs were that principles were needed to build up on
and to provide guidance through an ever-changing world. Values were not of
importance because values can be associated with someone such as a thief with
values. He recognized that to be effective it must be practiced in the outside
world as well as at home with your family. This takes building character and
having discipline. To be an effective leader one must be proactive and have an
end to any task that is embarked upon.

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author spoke on how you must put things first and begin with an end in mind. There
must be a win/win attitude to carry out a successful plan. Empathy is vital to
dealing with other people and getting positive results. You should not be
ashamed to uncover that you don’t know something and act like you have all the
answers. This book not only talks about job achievements but personal
achievements as well. The seven habits he talks about are being proactive,
beginning with the end in mind, put first things first, think win/win, seek
first to understand, then to be understood, synergize and sharpen the saw.

need for change is talked about a lot in this book because your growth starts
with being an evolutionary. The effects of the changes you incorporate will be
revolutionary. As you adapt to change will you have a deeper understanding of
yourself and a higher self-confidence. As you hold the values that are
important self, your identity, integrity, and inner-directedness will infuse
you with exhilaration and peace. When you develop self-confidence, you will not
be worried what people think of you, but what people think of themselves.

self-awareness helps us be able to see others on the reflection of how we see
ourselves. In life we have choices and in relation to what happen to our family
of the past doesn’t mean that’s our outcome. Our behavior is a function of our
decisions. We have the responsibility to make decision based on choices and our
values, not the conditions we are in.

author spoke how we should take initiative as our responsibility to get
something done without asking for help all the time. That doesn’t mean being
pushy or rude but being assertive and independent. This refers to the first
step of the habits of effective people regarding being proactive. Taking the
initiative to get something comes up with solutions and eliminate the problem.

proactive without being pushy and rude lifts morale and eliminate negative
feelings. Concentrating on the positive side of a person helps to extend the
circle of influence. Working with someone’s strengths can overshadow the
weakness and reciprocate a healthy relationship. Live up to your word and
following through on what you say builds integrity and reliability that last a
long time.

the time to diagnose any situation before you jump to conclusions. Never make
any hasty decisions without reviewing the facts and getting a better
understanding. When seeking to understand by using ethos, pathos, and logos.
People should have faith in your integrity and competency. You should be
aligned with the emotional feeling of another person’s communication. Be
attentive and really listen when you converse with people and show concern.
When you truly seek to understand someone, you appreciate them more and possess
more empathy for them.

Part 2

first concept I found the author presented that was interesting was principles
of empathic communication. Communication is an important skill in everyday life
between people’s family and on the job. So much focus has been put on reading,
writing and speaking. There has been no emphasis put on listening. NO form of
education nor training touch on the issue of being a great listener. Hearing
and listening is not the same thing, when it comes to grasping what someone is
trying to convey.

influence and interact with someone effectively you must understand what that
person is saying and how that person feels. A person character is constantly
communicating what type of person and the intentions that are meant. Empathic
listening requires building upon and inspiring others to disclose and trust
your character. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand but
rather with the intent to be understood. Most people listen with the intent to
reply when the other person is finish talking.

second concept the author discussed was principles of creative cooperation
dealing with synergy. Synergy catalyzes and unleashes the greatest powers
within people. Synergy prepares you to deal with new situations that might
arise that are unexpected. Communicating in a synergy manner allows you to open
your mind and heart to new possibilities, alternative, new options. The
creative process is unpredictable and takes you out of your comfort zone.

requires courage in becoming authentic in the thought process of creating ideas
and thoughts. There must be respect among people and a genuine effort to
understand. When people understand each other, there is a level of trust and
cooperation that creates a nonprotective interaction. The levels of
communication are high when synergy is present, which creates a win/win
situation. When a person has access to both the intuitive, creative, and visual
right brain, and the analytical, logical, verbal left brain, then the whole
brain is working. Life is not just logical, but it is also emotional.

Part 3

concept that I did further research on agreed on the same significance of
empathic communication being key to being effective in leadership. According to
Senbel, the values of coefficients and individual values were ranked high. A
person knowing their own strengths and weaknesses and their sense of
spirituality, self-worth, personal growth and internal power were habits of
highly effective people (Senbel 474).

when one article did a study, they found that some party’s used empathy to see
another part perspective and to act with concern and compassion to see what the
other person was doing. Furthermore, they found out that empathy played a vital
role in building relationships and connecting their visions with other people
values. Not only did empathy help put things in perspective, but it helps to
secure support and a trusting relationship.

empathic requires putting yourself in another person position. Sensitivity and
switching positions with a person to the extent of whatever they are felling in
communicating effectively. Empathic communication has to do with feelings of
trustworthy of understanding. There is a difference in understanding and being
understanding. Understanding what is being convey to you requires concentration
and intelligence of how to understand. Meaning well with concern to listening
is not enough. It takes acquired skills that must be developed over time and

way to ensure proper understanding is to have the person reiterate if you don’t
clearly understand. Grasping what the person’s frame of mind and where they’re
referencing to at the end helps to get a better understanding (Grant 229).
Sometimes you must completely absorb yourself in the attitudes and feelings of
other. Most authors still agree that empathic communication is key to an
effective communicator. During the questionnaires some preferred not to
communicate as much.

my comparison of the book and my sources, it still focuses on empathic
communication in developing relationships with substance. Communication is the
most important skill in life and it is not achieved overnight. Some might
differ because of the setting that one works in. Different jobs require a
different approach that must have of emphatic communication.

the book and my resources weren’t identical, they were remotely close in
comparison. The surveys conducted suggested that many people rather not
communicate so much on the job because of a lack of closeness. Many fear that
some people have ulterior motives when they try to communicate to find out
information. That’s because the trust and closeness hasn’t been built yet.

cause a separation in the flow of things when people don’t communicate to get
an understanding and validation that a bond is formed. All authors seem to
agree that empathic communication is the start of building a meaningful and
long-lasting relationship moving forward. There no denying that without
communication there is no understanding and no perception to be thought of.


author presented this book in a way that it can affect everyone’s life rather
it a leadership role or a subordinate role. It lists steps that we can apply in
our lives to become a better person. We can also extend our inner circle to
influence others around us by our examples. The author shows us how to
prioritize what’s most important and to take on those tasks first and foremost.

presented this in a nonjudgmental form and talked about his journey with
becoming an effective person. He listed examples of effective leaders and the
habits they exhibited in becoming effective. The outline was laid out with the
steps and the effect of these actions. I found the topic interesting because it
resonated with everyday occurrences that one deal with every day. It made no
excuses for anyone’s behavior with out that person having the responsibility
over it.

book focused on the personal identity of oneself. It gave a greater in depth
with regards as how to be an effective communicator and take responsibility for
our actions. I myself got caught up in what happen to my past family members
was the outcome for me. This book challenged me to take control of my own
destiny and be proactive in attaining a goal. The creation of being a visionary
and implementing a start and end plan.

These concepts weren’t
new to me because I learned these concepts in my interpersonal communication,
leadership management, and ethics class. These courses have taught me the
responsibility that comes with being an effective leader and influencing other
to trust and respect